Apr 14, 2011

Standardized Patients

So my medical school has us work with standardized patients sometimes. This basically allows us to sort of kind of learn to take a history and do a physical exam without actually being let loose on some poor person with real medical problems. These people get paid to spend a couple hours being poked and prodded by a bunch of 20-somethings who feel all kinds of uncomfortable with tasks such as asking obese older women to lift their breasts out of the way and feelin' up femoral pulses on crusty old guys.

Now most of these SP's have been doing this for a while and it's old hat to them. They have their chief complaint, they know their story and what answers they should give to relevant questions, and the feedback they give is usually something along the lines of: "Explained what she was doing well."; "Was very compassionate."; "Know hows to act like a human being."...or some other generic shit like that. But sometimes the feedback is off-topic or even downright crazy-pants, and of course we all like to share those fun stories. A few examples:

Mrs. Old-Fashioned: "Blouse was too low and distracted me."
The student's 'blouse' was a dress with a buttoned-up cardigan over it, but this one's still not too out there. At least it wasn't a male patient talking about how distracting it was.

Mrs. Fashion Police: "She should not have been wearing boots with heels!"
It was 15 degrees outside. Unfortunately she did not share what kind of shoes she would have considered more appropriate.

Mrs. PC: "Beard made me uncomfortable, unless it was for religious or cultural reasons."
10 to 1 odds she clutched her purse closer then he walked in the room.

This gem happened after an encounter where the patient was supposedly angry and the student was supposed to placate him.
Mr. Drug Seeker: "He did an OK job [of apologizing], but he should have offered me free drug samples."

This happened with an actual patient who gave permission to be examined by two students in a group of four.
Mr. Creepster: "Is there a girl in the group? Yeah? She can definitely examine me."
He got two burly male students.

No comments:

Post a Comment